I was feeling unwell today, struggling with fatigue, bouts of indigestion, muscular pains and lightheadedness. The tops of my thighs hurt as is from strenuous muscle training and my calves feel tight and heavy. I forgot and confused simple things, made silly mistakes. It would have been easy to say I don’t feel like myself today, but the truth is, I do feel like myself, a version of myself, at least. I feel like I am no longer willing to deny or push away the weaker, more fraught sides of me. I feel stronger because I am ready to accept myself more fully.

In the meanwhile, my friends have spent the day hiding from the air raids and this is a particular kind of heartbreak.