The snow is back. Heavy, waterlogged March snow. It will probably be gone by Wednesday or Thursday, but for now the world looks almost normal outside of my window. The world outside of my window is a couple of maple trees, squirrels running up and down the trunks, a small suburban house, almost a mirror reflection of my own, another tree of some unknown to me species with a bird-feeder. It used to attract all kinds of birds, now I hardly see any. Maybe, the winter was too warm, or maybe the neighbour stopped filling it.

We switched to the summer time this weekend. Now once again I wake up in heavy darkness. In the evening when we come back home though it is still full light. I feel lost and disoriented, as if something sad happened, but no one wants to tell me what.

Mstyslav Chernov got an Oscar for the best documentary for 20 Days in Mariupol. I went to YouTube to watch the trailer (which I’d already seen). The trailer is 1 minute 49 seconds long. I broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably 30 seconds in. For the rest of the day, I am trying not to think about it.