Today I feel happy, while I feel all other things including grief, confusion, anger, exhaustion, hope and hurt. Still, today I feel happy because I created a framework for mutual learning and accountability of our grantee partners. This framework is simple, written in human language, it venters love, trust, humility and collaboration.

I have not yet shown it to anyone, but I feel that I did my best work. That for once I managed to translate the language of my heart into the professional codes of my job. And now, while this framework remains my brain-baby, still hidden from the world, even from my friends and co-conspirators, I want to note this. Regardless of what other people think about it, it is a good work. Regardless of how it gets distorted by corporate colonial system, it is a good work. It is good, because it makes me feel whole. It is good, because it bridges the gap between the brave, genuine and vulnerable me and the professional me. It is good, because it is me without a mask. It is good because I wrote it not to impress someone or show how smart I am or test-drive new fancy concepts – I wrote it from the heart, from everything I learned in the past three years, from my place of trauma and from my place of compassion. It is good because it is healing.